As the new year comes upon us many of us turn our thoughts to new year's resolutions. The goals that we have, the routines we commit to begin, and the habits we promise to break. With this in mind I bring you my goal for this year. I promise to make a movie better than these.
These are actual movies.
A slasher film, on a $38,000 budget, about a young man named Jerry who is under the hypnotic trance of a fortuneteller and goes on a stripper killing spree in a carnival! In addition there are song and dance numbers. Yes, song and dance numbers!!
"Dracula travels to the American West, intent on making a beautiful ranch owner his next victim. Her fiance, outlaw Billy the Kid, finds out about it and rushes to save her. " $28,000 budget
Martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with TV shows from Earth which extoll the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa. Santa puts in a Martian North Pole workshop and wins over the Martians
When the grandson of a gun wielding woman is murdered by neo-Nazi surf punks in the post-apocalyptic future, this grandma hunts them down for some bloodthirsty revenge.
What is scary is that at some point in time a group of people sat around a table and thought, "Hey, would it be a good idea if we made a movie about Santa Claus and martians." So here's to
The Bag and 2006
